Being creative, and more importantly, being recognized for it, has been part of myself ever since I can remember. It wasn't until recently, when re-encountering with my creativity after a long period of feeling disconnected with that side of myself, that I started wondering about this particular trait.
CREATIVES: are we born or made?
There are countless studies and papers taking both sides, some people think it's something that you ought to be born with, many others believe that indeed, creativity is inherited - but by everyone, some, as myself, believe that it's the perfect mix of both. We're all born with a creative spark waiting to be lit and endorsed ... yet not everyone finds this spark within themselves. I believe that the upbringing of humans and the early years are fundamental for deciding wether or not creativity will be an outstanding trait in each one of us. It can always be learned, many people ignite their spark at odd times in life and discover this new part of themselves ... yet I deeply believe the younger you get in touch with it, the more it will define you and the easiest it will be to use it on a regular basis down the road.
This question popped on my mind during my longest creatively stuck period ... was I ever creative? I remembered believing I was so my whole life, but was it just because my mother made me and told me so, or was it in me? Well, now after a lot of research on the subject I certainly know that was one of the reasons, and she's no one to blame but to thank, had I been born in a different household maybe I would've never become "la niña de los plumones", a trait that defined through me my whole school years, and of which I'm proud of.
Being creative is a big part of who I am, and that's why feeling un-creative and stuck made me feel like I was losing myself; combining that with being recently graduated and trying to find my place in the world, sums up for a really difficult time sorting life out. Finding my creative self again and discovering the ways in which I can help it thrive, has been eye opening, and just in case you're feeling slightly the same, here's my story.
As someone who spent every bit of free time during her school years coming up with different creative side hustles, doodling on every white space left in my notebooks, and learning online how to master every design program possible, having the opportunity and luck of finding a creative and design centered job sounds like a dream. So when I finally graduated from college this were the kind of jobs that I applied to, and luckily, succeeded at having. Last year, at around this time, I had the fortune of becoming a content creator for an amazing up-and-coming snack brand; and since it was just launching, I was lucky enough to create the whole identity of who the brand was on social media and how it spoke to it's costumers. My boss was extremely trusting and amazing, letting me experiment new things, create freely and learn from mistakes. I had an amazing time there, but the way it felt throughout my time in the company, changed drastically and led me to discover a key thing about my personal relationship with my creative side.
At the beginning, everything was perfect. I simply loved creating content so much and spending time creating illustrations in Procreate for hours worth and coming up with fun polls for instagram stories while getting paid felt like cheating. A new project can excite everyone and I was completely invested creatively for about four months until I had the realization that it had been a long long time since I picked up my paint brushes, or opened up Procreate and Illustrator for something other than, wait for it ... WORK.
My job had finally started feeling like work, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, I still liked it, enjoyed it and was happy in it, but that feeling of having to be creative, having to come up with something, and having to do it in time, was starting to creep in little by little. This creative red-flag, if we must name it, was completely acknowledged and ignored. I needed a job and had the luck of being in one that I enjoyed surrounded with people I deeply cared for, while being a fundamental part of a project in which I deeply believed in, so I went about my life and took the loss of my personal-interest creative side, and on creating my own mark in the world with my own personal design (a.k.a what Penpal exists for) as a side effect of growing up and focusing on being a grown up.
And since life happens, and divine plans and paths unravel at unexpected times, as we all know, I had an opportunity to leave that job and enter a very different one. People who knew and appreciated my job as a content creator, and myself included, wondered if this change towards a non-creative work would keep me satisfied. Worried about losing my creative side but set into adventuring the fashion and editorial industry, I believed I was leaving my Apple Pencil down and picking up a regular black pen and lined notepad for the foreseeable future, but man was I wrong.
As soon as my creativity was not being used for work, it started coming back and becoming available for myself. That feeling of exhaustion when thinking about creating a fun sticker at home after work, or crafting something up in my Cricut just for the love of it, came back flooding me regardless of the fact that I spent the same, if not more, hours working my "day job".
I had the sudden realization, which took me long enough and seems obvious I know, that my love for creating for the sake of creating was still there, but there needed to be some creativity left in me for that little spark to become a flame. It's as if there was a limit to creativity, or let's say, a number that measured it ... so if I had 10 grams of creativity and poured those 10 grams into my work, there was nothing left for me when I came home. And now that I came home after work with, let's say, about 7 grams of it, those could be put to use in whatever project I personally chose, ... illustrating again, reading and crafting more, or into writing this little reflective piece for example.
I realized that for me to feel like myself I really need those extra grams of creativity left spare for my own personal use, and this realization is one that will help me through life. Now I know that I can't take a work or compromise to a project that would take the 100% of my creativity for long periods of time because that would result in dullness, sadness and feeling untrue to who I am. I've started to learn and create patterns that allow me to be productive in my job, and in my creative time, and the new challenge relies more on balancing my time rather than on searching for a lost part of myself without a flashlight.
I know for sure that some people enjoy employing their 10 grams of creativity at work, and feel deeply happy and connected with that, and who knows, maybe someday I find a job and a project that excite me enough so that the feeling of working never really comes creeping in, but for the time being, I'm choosing holding myself accountable for my creativity and making sure that it works for me just the same, or more, than it works for others. Finding ways of using it to express myself, develop my skills, and make a mark that tells the world who I am rather than how good I can work.
So what I mean by taking accountability of your own creativity, is finding out which pattern makes your creativity thrive and your heart dance, and stay true to it. Life is filled with enough unpleasant things as to not invest and take care of those that make your days brighter and smile wider.
some tips that have helped me keep the creativity spark ignited ...
- Always keep an "Idea Notebook" near you, mine is a small Moleskine that fits every purse and stores every random idea, sketch, quote or anything that inspired me to create anything. (Pictured above - last week I saw a very inspiring exhibition at the AIoC, and pictures were not allowed. My idea notebook saved me so i jotted down every line that inspired me ;))
- Save at least 20 minutes a day for creating and 20 for reading, or watching something that will inspire you. They'll get longer with time, I assure you.
- Screenshot and save everything that sparks creativity, but do not leave it at that, often screenshots get lost and end up deleted or just taking a lot of space. Find a weekly 15 minute space to incorporate the media you gather to your idea notebook or bullet journal, or even better create mood boards or Pinterest Boards that will help you keep track of this little things that could help you create a much bigger one.
- Have plans for new projects before you finish old ones. I've got at least 10 things more I want to do so that when something lacks inspiration I can always find something else to work with.
- Calendarize your ideas, if you're into social content creating more so! That'll keep you on track and help you become more accountable in a "productivity focused" way. But always keep in mind this: It doesn't matter if you don't post on time or finish a certain piece on a certain day when you're creating for your own sake. Maybe if someday your own creative side becomes your full time job it will, but if you're getting started and doing it just because like I am, it's more important to feel free than pressured.
And now it's your turn, let me know, how does your creative side works?